"see Daflos melt your mind."
by Mike Daflos
 


I'll be walking down the street with a shirt on that says "I melt minds."

Then a couple of street punks (played by the animated Vanessa and Louie) walk past me and mumble something (liek the mumbling you hear in the homestar runner stuff) and hten laughing at me.  One of them says "nice shirt" the other says "yeah, I didn't know they sold shirts that LIE TO PEOPLE that read them."

 

This makes me so angry, I create a care bear stare like light that arches over top of them, freezing them in position (like the light carrying DB sweeney up to the ship in Fire in the Sky)  Then brain stuff comes out of their noses and ears, which then congeals back on the floor into little brains which then gush their way over to me like pets.  Then I pick up the brains and put them in a big bag that says "New perspectives" then, as louie and vanessa stand like zombies, I say "I guess I did lie a little, the shirt should say "I melt minds, create a new world order, and restore the melted minds anew, with an understanding of what's important in this universe" but I couldn't because they didn't have the cash for all that silk screening"

I shake the bag, let their brains out and the brains crawl back into their heads.

Once they're in there they both are like "wow, I have a whole new understanding on the world as we know it!, I could die today and I'd feel like my life is complete!"

Then I shoot them both in the fucking faces, and when they're down I do that crazy person thing of pumping them a couple more times in the chest.

 

Then I throw the gun down right by their feet, smile and walk away whistling.

We pan out and see a sea of bodies in my path, and at the last second it zooms back in and I make the angry face and start focusing my mind melting shit on the people watching the flash, at which point it redirects people to this:

 

www.blozis.com

 

the end.